Spice up your sex life with these tricks experts say actually work

Try a couples' vibrator

Adding sex toys is kind of like adding a third party, but without the emotional attachment. From vibrating, to pulsing, to penetrating, sex expert and sex tech entrepreneur Dominnique Karetsos says to research toys as if they were beauty products: “Look for premium quality, body safe, and even gender neutral toys,”

Try watching porn together

It’s usually used in private, which makes watching porn with your partner feel even more risqué. “Porn builds sexual tension and piques curiosity,” says Dr. Alyse Kelly-Jones. But don’t limit yourselves to screens. See what happens when you take turns reading erotic literature to each other. Even if you break down in giggles before you turn the page, you’re on the right track. “Laughter is a great way to spice things up, too,” says Morris.

Send a provocative text

Sexting is a fun, playful way to let your partner know they are on your mind. If you’re not sure where to begin, Dr. Lanae St. John, board certified sexologist, and author has an easy place to start: (just fill in the blanks), she says: “I want you to ____ my ____ slowly while you ___ your ____.” This is your chance to get creative.

Have fun together!

Sometimes keeping passion alive in the bedroom has nothing to do with sex at all. Take a tennis lesson, try a new restaurant, go on a hike together. “When you do a fun activity that’s not sexual with your partner, you’ll pay attention to one-another, which helps build desire, and that’s a form of foreplay,” says Amy Levine, certified sex coach and founder of Ignite Your Pleasure.

Touch yourself

Masturbate! It’s basically the battle-cry of every expert we talked to: “Once you know what helps you orgasm, you can ask for that from your partner,” says Fine. “Plus, demanding what you want can be really sexy.” Somatic Sex Educator Kiana Reeves agrees. “Masturbation is your best friend,” she says. “It’s the best way to create a pleasure roadmap that empowers you and helps your partner become a better lover.” A little trepidatious? These vibrators for beginners can get you started.

Switch locations.

“Have sex on the kitchen counter. Get it on in the hallway. Do it on the couch or in your bedroom closet,” says Morris. “It doesn’t matter where, just pick a place that isn’t your usual spot.” According to Morris, the new smells, sounds, lighting and textures will help keep your sex life on its toes.

Don't underestimate the power of lubricant

“I want to introduce you to a mind-blowing concept—flavored lube during oral sex,” says Emily Morse, Doctor of Human Sexuality and founder of the Sirius XM show and podcast Sex With Emily. Even if you aren’t a big fan of oral, knowing you’re getting a sweet treat could be a relationship game changer.